btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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