After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
