oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize