i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
