he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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