it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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