pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
