You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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