Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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