Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
