he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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