i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm like, not good at living.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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