I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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