I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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