Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
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You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
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People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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