You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
