This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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