I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
sarcasm needs its own font
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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