problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize