I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
