yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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