Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Everclear isn't food dammit
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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