What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize