just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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