I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize