My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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