Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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