I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
