when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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