She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
