how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
