Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
