Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
