I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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