TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
