He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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