just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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