trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
how does that bad decision feel?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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