So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
