he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
