I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
is that a dick in a sweater?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
