I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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