Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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