we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
