When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
