last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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