I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
