some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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