I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
