It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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