Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you made out with another girl for some wings
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize