these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
vagina is talking i cant
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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