In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
