I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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