There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
