My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
