Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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