I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just high enough for therapy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
