Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
