so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize