I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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