i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
