I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
